If there is one thing I can say about my life, is that it's never dull. In the last year I have been on quite the journey, leaving home and exploring the west. Not only have I discovered more of myself out here but I have found myself in many bizarre circumstances, much more than I would typically find myself in at home. If you are not sure what I am talking about you can read one of my earlier post where I find myself toe to toe with a tire service man.
But enough about that story because I have another one for you today.
I was out and about a few days ago with my "wolf pack" trying to get some Christmas Shopping done. If anyone has ever tried to shop with three little boys you know how daunting the task can be. So I was a momma on a mission trying to get in and out of the few stores I needed to stop at. By the way can someone please tell me WHY they do not make stores stroller friendly? I have a hard enough time trying to keep my buddies from harassing the store manikins with out having to worry about plowing into one myself.
As the afternoon continued, I was very pleased with how well my little clan was behaving and decided to stop into Eddie Bauer to look around, seeing it was on our way out. It wasn't but five minutes in the store when I heard something coming from the back. I really can't explain what happened next, it was like I was watching myself from the sidelines. The sweater that I had just picked up fell back to the table as I turned towards the sound and made my way to it. It's a good thing that two of my boys were strapped into the stroller I was pushing otherwise I am afraid they would have gotten left behind. The sound I heard sent me into a state of urgency, all I knew, at that moment, was I needed to find the source of this sound.
I swiftly moved to the back of the store, not quite sure what or if I had taken anything out in the process, when I found what I was looking for. There in the back corner of the store were two ladies conversing, then like I heard moments before, one of the ladies threw her head back and let out a very soulful laugh. There it was, but again something was off about it, if only I could put my finger on it.....
That's when it started....you know the twitch you get in your nose and the tingling in the back of the throat. I knew I was going to lose it so I grab the first thing in my reach and bolted to the fitting rooms. Luckily the handicap one was free otherwise I am not sure how we would have all fit. The moment I closed the door the tears started to swell up and fall, one by one like a crack in a very well built damn. Here's the thing usually once I start to cry, like really cry, it's all over from there. Believe me when I tell you I am an ugly crier, I don't look all sweet and pretty, no my nose gets red and my face squishes up. If you don't believe me, I will just have to let you know the next time I am getting ready to have a good cry and invite you to come witness one of the ugliest things you will ever see:)
So here I was crying like a baby in the Eddie Bauer fitting room, with my three boys staring at me like I had lost my mind. Wait was I losing my mind? What was it about this lady's laugh that brought this kind of emotion out of me. Then there it was staring me right in the face...THE LAUGH, not the lady's laugh but the one laugh that brings me such comfort. The one laugh, when I hear it brings the me such joy. My MOTHER'S laugh!!!!
You see it's not just my momma's laugh that makes her so great, there are a thousand things! My momma has been there for me through a lot of changes in my life. She was patient with me when I was going through a bratty stage in high school, she was not an ounce judgemental when I told her I was pregnant at the age of 20, she sat with me in silence when we left the doctor's office after I miscarried and was still numb, she gave me nothing but encouraging words when I told her we were moving out west and taking her sweet grand babies with us. She let me make my own mistakes and was always there with a comforting hug when I failed.
It was to the point that I would have done anything, even let her corner me in the bathroom so she could pick my face, just to get a hug from her.
After I finished my cry fest in the Eddie Bauer changing room and told myself that I was a 20 something year old women with three kids and this was not appropriate behavior, I wiped my mascara from my eyes and continued on my way.
Now before we go any further I must make something clear, NO I am not pregnant, just the opposite actually if you catch my drift.
So again I find myself leaving a place, shaking my head and asking did that just happen?
All I can say is I can't wait to see my mom over New Years!!!
Oh Yeah and Mom if you are reading this, I was just kidding about wanting you to pick my face....I don't need to ring the New Year in with marks all over my face:)
Oh and Mom, Thanks for being there!
Love.....One Homesick Dorthy....There's no place like home;)